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What to Do if You Disagree with Your Child’s Proposed IEP

Oct 17, 2025 | IEP, Special Needs Child

You’ve attended your child’s IEP meeting after the first marking period. Much to your surprise, the school staff informed you that your child’s performance is markedly different than what you have observed or expected.

What is a Parent to Do?

  1. Go Prepared.
    • In advance of the meeting, make a list of your concerns or praise about your child’s academic, social, emotional, and physical performance and progress.
    • Review the goals and objectives. Is your child making the expected progress?
    • Should any of the goals and objectives be removed or replaced?
    • Do you have any expert assessment of your child that will aid you in preparation for the meeting?
  2. Be Polite.
    • School staff may be well trained and experienced. Listen with an open mind to what they have to say.
    • School staff, especially administrators, may be budget-driven. Be mindful of this fact, but don’t be rude.
  3. Ask Questions.
    • If you don’t understand something, ask for an explanation. If you disagree with someone at the meeting, speak up and say so, and say why.
    • If a staff member recommends an IEP change, ask for the reasoning behind it.
    • Ask reasonable questions, but don’t take things too far.
  4. Take Notes.
    • Write down the important information that the staff gives you. Review it after the meeting, adding to your notes and correcting them while they are fresh in your mind.
  5. Bring a Sibling, Aunt, Uncle, Grandparent, or Friend.
    • It’s helpful to have a trusted companion with you at the meeting. Afterward, you can process what happened and check your memory of what was said.
  6. Don’t Record the Meeting.
    • You must advise the case manager well in advance of an IEP meeting if you plan to record it. This creates an air of distrust and may even have a chilling effect on the amount of information the staff give you.
  7. Don’t Sign Agreement to the IEP.
    • It is always advisable for you to bring the proposed IEP home with you to review at your leisure when you are not under time or staff pressure to sign.
  8. Go Home, Process What You’ve Heard.
    • After the meeting, after you’ve reviewed and revised your notes, after you’ve talked it over with a trusted person, and after you’ve reviewed the IEP, think about everything. Does it make sense? If not, why not? What is your gut telling you?
  9. Review the IEP, Note Where you Disagree, and Why.
    • If after your review and processing, you disagree with the proposed IEP, write down the pertinent points of disagreement and your reasons for it. Add examples of your student’s behavior, discussion, or performance that you or anyone you know has observed.
  10. Send a Letter or Email to the Case Manager Asking for a Follow-Up Meeting to Review Your Points.
    • Make sure to finish this and notify your case manager as soon as possible. All IEP’s save the first one after original classification go into effect automatically. If you allow that to happen, the IEP will be in effect whether or not you agree with it.

Have Questions About Your Child’s IEP or Performance? Need Help Obtaining a Good Educational Program for Your Child with Special Needs?

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